Greetings, wonderful readers!
When I came up with the idea of providing 'wingnuts' for Crash Debris, I envisioned relatively short
anecdotes about the creative process involved in bringing various stories to life. I'm not sure the
term, as I imagined it, applies to Child Of The Night. Perhaps "molybolt" (yes, there really is such a
thing) would be more appropriate. Child Of The Night is so vast that 'wingnut' hardly does it
justice.
Because I get asked this relatively often, let's start with the basics: What was going on in my
brain when I came up with the idea of Child Of The Night (CoTN)?
Lots of things unfortunately, which complicates the answer.
First of all, I was churning out an absurd amount of fanfic at that time. So tossing one more
novel-length project into the mill wasn't a big deal. Secondly, and possibly more importantly, I
wrote CoTN entirely for myself. As it was going on the page, I never imagined I would share it
with anyone else. That self-indulgence meant that I was willing to assemble the ultimate
hurt-comfort story, I was more than content to take my time relating John's rehabilitation, and I
also went somewhere with his torture that I had never gone before and will very probably never go
again. When it was finished, and I looked at the torture I had described, I was even more loathe
to share it. I thought it was too horrific to post. (Silly me. I hadn't stumbled into any dark fic
yet.)
I had a couple of goals in mind as I started writing, none of which were initially connected directly
to the plot. The plot came about somewhat of its own will once the story was underway. I
wanted very much to do the mind-meld scenes. I wanted John and the other crew members to
get inside each other's minds and see at least some small portion of the universe from the other
person's perspective. Why did I want to do this? I don't have an answer. It was just something
I wanted to try.
That fed the plot device of John's catatonia, and ultimately brought in his torture. I contemplated
every other possibility for inducing his psychic withdrawal I could think of before resorting to
torture: drugs, poisoning, possession by a malevolent psyche, and some sort of alien psychic
influence. What every one of those alternatives lacked, however, was dramatic punch. By hurting
John so badly that he was not only insane but also cut off from reality by substantial physiological
damage, the stakes involved in his recovery were about as high as they could get. For Aeryn and
the rest of the crew, the cost of failure was losing John entirely and then being forced to either
abandon or kill the residual, empty shell of his body. I don't recall exactly when I decided I would
have to torture him, or how, but I do remember getting hit by the realization that if the stakes
weren't high enough, that the drama would suffer.
The other thing I wanted to do with this story was the final chapter: John and Aeryn having sex
while in Unity. I won't go into why I wanted to write this. I think everyone can figure that out for
themselves.
The issue of Unity led to inventing the concept of the 'Meetings'. Unity was too personal, too
deep. I wanted the characters to share their thoughts and perceptions, but I felt that having John
share Unity with every member of the crew, which would link them forever, would be more
traumatic than his torture!!
I stumbled across a writing technique in this story that has turned out to be invaluable. By saving
the description of John's torture until half way through the story, it reduces the trauma on the
reader. By the time we learn about what was done to him, John has been rescued, he is in the
hands of his friends and people who care about him, and there is hope. It doesn't reduce the
horror of what he went through, but if I had told the tale chronologically, the description of his
suffering would have been gruesome and brutal. By having everyone relive the experience along
with John as they reach the most critical point in his recovery, they gain their first understanding
of what John has been through and what it is going to cost HIM to willingly leave his quiet
dreaming place behind.
None of this was planned. It was probably equal parts luck and intention. When I opened up a
new file for CoTN, faced a blank screen, and began typing, I started in the middle of the tale --
with John's rescue -- because I had used the device before and had learned that dumping the
reader into the midst of the action when they don't know what is going on yet sets the "hook"
(gets them interested in and involved in the story quickly). I deliberately held back any mention of
John at all until Aeryn is finally inside the room. It didn't matter that I was writing for myself;
holding back the information that it is John they are there to rescue increases the drama through
the first portion of the story.
The other question that I get asked has to do with why I took him back to the New Moon of Delvia
and put him in the water. The first part of the question is easy: In Rhapsody In Blue, Tahleen is
able to alter John's memories as well as influence his perception of reality. I figured that an entire
colony of delvians should have the skills necessary to put John back together. I put John
underwater because ... erm ... <ponders> ... uhhhh ... because I did. I think I did it because the
thought of floating in warm water while being massaged and cared for was very sensual. There
was a bit more erotica in the original, not-for-public-eyes version of CoTN. I was writing a lot of
NC-17 fic at that time, and it tended to infiltrate into the midst of a lot of stories. CoTN was no
different. In the end, the womb-parallel worked very well, so the water scenes served the plot and
they stayed as they were with very little editing.
I'll finish up this entry by explaining that I might not have ever shared CoTN with everyone else if
Farscape hadn't been cancelled. In the interval between the night when we found out about the
cancellation and when the second half of Season 4 aired, the muses of a lot of writers took a
vacation. I was no different. I was more focused on the campaign and what life without Farscape
was going to be like than I was on creating any fanfic. That was when I looked at this novel-length
hurt-comfort saga sitting on my hard drive and considered cleaning it up and sharing it with the
world. The story changed somewhat in the process.
Some erotic scenes got yanked out because they didn't drive the plot and were not appropriate to
where the story was going at that particular moment. (Please do not ask to see those scenes.
They were lost, along with 80 pages of a never-resurrected story, when my computer crashed
several years ago.) I also felt that the story needed less rehab vignettes and more action, which
led to the addition of the John-and-the-DRDs-to-the-rescue chapters.
These alterations also resulted in some hiccups and unevenness in the story that probably only I
can detect. If I had all the time in the world, I would like to go back and smooth them out. It's
probably never going to happen.
Last thought before I move on ...
I still play with Child Of The Night from time to time. There are exquisite moments, usually
between John and Aeryn, that I love to flesh out. Sometimes I adjust a single sentence. Other
times I wind up rewriting a scene. Because of the work involved, I never add them to the version
posted here at Crash Debris. Thanks to a conversation I had with shester while at ScaperCamp
'08, some of those scenes will be provided in further 'wingnuts' for Child Of The Night. I will add
them after the appropriate chapters.
Enjoy! And thank you for reading and commenting!
Crash
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
When I came up with the idea of providing 'wingnuts' for Crash Debris, I envisioned relatively short
anecdotes about the creative process involved in bringing various stories to life. I'm not sure the
term, as I imagined it, applies to Child Of The Night. Perhaps "molybolt" (yes, there really is such a
thing) would be more appropriate. Child Of The Night is so vast that 'wingnut' hardly does it
justice.
Because I get asked this relatively often, let's start with the basics: What was going on in my
brain when I came up with the idea of Child Of The Night (CoTN)?
Lots of things unfortunately, which complicates the answer.
First of all, I was churning out an absurd amount of fanfic at that time. So tossing one more
novel-length project into the mill wasn't a big deal. Secondly, and possibly more importantly, I
wrote CoTN entirely for myself. As it was going on the page, I never imagined I would share it
with anyone else. That self-indulgence meant that I was willing to assemble the ultimate
hurt-comfort story, I was more than content to take my time relating John's rehabilitation, and I
also went somewhere with his torture that I had never gone before and will very probably never go
again. When it was finished, and I looked at the torture I had described, I was even more loathe
to share it. I thought it was too horrific to post. (Silly me. I hadn't stumbled into any dark fic
yet.)
I had a couple of goals in mind as I started writing, none of which were initially connected directly
to the plot. The plot came about somewhat of its own will once the story was underway. I
wanted very much to do the mind-meld scenes. I wanted John and the other crew members to
get inside each other's minds and see at least some small portion of the universe from the other
person's perspective. Why did I want to do this? I don't have an answer. It was just something
I wanted to try.
That fed the plot device of John's catatonia, and ultimately brought in his torture. I contemplated
every other possibility for inducing his psychic withdrawal I could think of before resorting to
torture: drugs, poisoning, possession by a malevolent psyche, and some sort of alien psychic
influence. What every one of those alternatives lacked, however, was dramatic punch. By hurting
John so badly that he was not only insane but also cut off from reality by substantial physiological
damage, the stakes involved in his recovery were about as high as they could get. For Aeryn and
the rest of the crew, the cost of failure was losing John entirely and then being forced to either
abandon or kill the residual, empty shell of his body. I don't recall exactly when I decided I would
have to torture him, or how, but I do remember getting hit by the realization that if the stakes
weren't high enough, that the drama would suffer.
The other thing I wanted to do with this story was the final chapter: John and Aeryn having sex
while in Unity. I won't go into why I wanted to write this. I think everyone can figure that out for
themselves.
The issue of Unity led to inventing the concept of the 'Meetings'. Unity was too personal, too
deep. I wanted the characters to share their thoughts and perceptions, but I felt that having John
share Unity with every member of the crew, which would link them forever, would be more
traumatic than his torture!!
I stumbled across a writing technique in this story that has turned out to be invaluable. By saving
the description of John's torture until half way through the story, it reduces the trauma on the
reader. By the time we learn about what was done to him, John has been rescued, he is in the
hands of his friends and people who care about him, and there is hope. It doesn't reduce the
horror of what he went through, but if I had told the tale chronologically, the description of his
suffering would have been gruesome and brutal. By having everyone relive the experience along
with John as they reach the most critical point in his recovery, they gain their first understanding
of what John has been through and what it is going to cost HIM to willingly leave his quiet
dreaming place behind.
None of this was planned. It was probably equal parts luck and intention. When I opened up a
new file for CoTN, faced a blank screen, and began typing, I started in the middle of the tale --
with John's rescue -- because I had used the device before and had learned that dumping the
reader into the midst of the action when they don't know what is going on yet sets the "hook"
(gets them interested in and involved in the story quickly). I deliberately held back any mention of
John at all until Aeryn is finally inside the room. It didn't matter that I was writing for myself;
holding back the information that it is John they are there to rescue increases the drama through
the first portion of the story.
The other question that I get asked has to do with why I took him back to the New Moon of Delvia
and put him in the water. The first part of the question is easy: In Rhapsody In Blue, Tahleen is
able to alter John's memories as well as influence his perception of reality. I figured that an entire
colony of delvians should have the skills necessary to put John back together. I put John
underwater because ... erm ... <ponders> ... uhhhh ... because I did. I think I did it because the
thought of floating in warm water while being massaged and cared for was very sensual. There
was a bit more erotica in the original, not-for-public-eyes version of CoTN. I was writing a lot of
NC-17 fic at that time, and it tended to infiltrate into the midst of a lot of stories. CoTN was no
different. In the end, the womb-parallel worked very well, so the water scenes served the plot and
they stayed as they were with very little editing.
I'll finish up this entry by explaining that I might not have ever shared CoTN with everyone else if
Farscape hadn't been cancelled. In the interval between the night when we found out about the
cancellation and when the second half of Season 4 aired, the muses of a lot of writers took a
vacation. I was no different. I was more focused on the campaign and what life without Farscape
was going to be like than I was on creating any fanfic. That was when I looked at this novel-length
hurt-comfort saga sitting on my hard drive and considered cleaning it up and sharing it with the
world. The story changed somewhat in the process.
Some erotic scenes got yanked out because they didn't drive the plot and were not appropriate to
where the story was going at that particular moment. (Please do not ask to see those scenes.
They were lost, along with 80 pages of a never-resurrected story, when my computer crashed
several years ago.) I also felt that the story needed less rehab vignettes and more action, which
led to the addition of the John-and-the-DRDs-to-the-rescue chapters.
These alterations also resulted in some hiccups and unevenness in the story that probably only I
can detect. If I had all the time in the world, I would like to go back and smooth them out. It's
probably never going to happen.
Last thought before I move on ...
I still play with Child Of The Night from time to time. There are exquisite moments, usually
between John and Aeryn, that I love to flesh out. Sometimes I adjust a single sentence. Other
times I wind up rewriting a scene. Because of the work involved, I never add them to the version
posted here at Crash Debris. Thanks to a conversation I had with shester while at ScaperCamp
'08, some of those scenes will be provided in further 'wingnuts' for Child Of The Night. I will add
them after the appropriate chapters.
Enjoy! And thank you for reading and commenting!
Crash
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
| WINGNUT Child Of The Night - Chapter 1 |